Not Happy

I don't like what I saw tonight.

All day today I kept hearing the voice inside my soul telling me to go see Lizzie this evening ... to spend time with her to see how she is doing at the group home in the evenings and with her bedtime routine.

When I arrived, she was sitting quietly on the sofa next to Judy and was fidgeting with her T-shirt. I put my face right in front of her and her eyes lit up as she exclaimed, "Twin Sister is that YOU?" "Yes, Lizzie ... it is me!" We hugged as I stoked her head with my hand. I sat down next to her and began to talk with her, but she did not respond to anything I was saying with logic or reason. Nothing made sense as she continued to fidget with the T-shirt. She was calm and appeared content ... dare I suggest oblivious to her plight?

I have a cough, and every time I coughed she acted startled and asked, "Are you OK Twin Sister?" When I suggested we switch the TV channel to old movies, when the movie appeared she gasped and said, "OH I know THIS one!" When her eyes began to close indicating a tired Lizzie, I suggested she go to bed. "Here?" she asked. I said, "Sure, why not?" and that was that. In less than five minutes she was in her bed.

Lizzie appeared to be void of emotion tonight. She had no "ups" and no "downs" like she has had in what seems to be forever. She just "was". I wonder if the new medication prescription is too much for her, or is she sinking further into the grasp of AD? I know I must be patient and give the meds time to "set in" and give Lizzie time to "adjust". I am told she is doing well at her day program and that she appears happy more than she used to. I will check on her there tomorrow.

I tucked her into bed just like I always used to do, and as she rested her head in my arms, I prayed our prayer that we used to say each and every morning of our lives together until AD robbed her of that ability, and tonight I added a humble request for God's sovereign grace.